Monday, October 12, 2009

One whole year...are you kidding me?


I cannot believe one entire year has passed by and I have not written in this blog.
How can that be???
Well, let me see.....we are building a house, raising four children, tending to a various assortment of cats and dogs and trying to maintain some degree of sanity through it all.
I have been writing quite a bit but not here. This blog world is sometimes hard for me to navigate. Do I maintain this one for Lilly and our other children and have a separate blog for ramblings not related to children? I don't live my life in compartments so this seems pretty challenging. It's all connected right? And this whole thing started with The Story of Lilly. Yes, I am the same person and no, I am not the same person at all. She has changed me. She has opened my heart to every single child who does not have a family. I sometimes feel that I walk around with my heart gaping wide open for the world to see.
Is that such a bad thing?
I watch videos on you tube of other people meeting their children for the first time, traveling to such faraway places as Ethiopia and China. I cry. No, I WEEP. I want to hug and feed and love them ALL.
I want to do more than I am doing right now.
I have to.
I cannot pretend to not know what I know. My dream of dreams would be that no mother would ever have to give up her child but as of right now that is just a dream and we HAVE to do something about all of these babies. These precious babies who give to us more than we could ever give to them. People will often say that Lilly is so lucky and oh, no no no no no no......WE are the lucky ones. We are blessed beyond measure to have her with us, to hear her call us momma and daddy. To run after her, to hug her, to swing with her and litsen to Dora for the zillioneth time. Seriously. I LOVE her sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much that my heart feels like the Grinch whose heart grew 10 times that day. I should just dress like a giant heart everyday now. Wear a heart hat and a heart t-shirt and a heart skirt with some heart shoes and some heart earrings and a heart bracelet and ................you get the idea. She has made me so much better.
So much more aware.
 I really know that I can make a difference. Little ol' me. One girl, one dream and so many lives transformed. The power of God to choose this perfect little girl to come to this family absolutely boggles my mind.
I am grateful beyond words.
My prayer everyday multiple times is how can I use my life to ensure that as many families and babies are as blessed as we are. The answers are starting to come. I am listening. I will do what I can.
Because it really matters that we all do whatever we can.
With an overflowing heart,
Kimberly

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