Thursday, January 20, 2011

Here's what I think....

If you haven't read my previous post about my recurring dream from childhood then please read that first or this will make zero sense to you. It may make zero sense anyway.....but here I go.....

I have thought about this dream many times and usually come up with similar thoughts. My husband thinks the rock and the daisy represent that things are not always what they seem. I wish it was a bit more profound than that but I guess simple truths are just that...simple.

 Because I have to use ALOT more words to explain something than my husband I will now share my spin on this........First let me say I am obviously analyzing the dream some 30 years later and I have the gift of experience which I can hold up next to the dream. That helps makes sense out of something that baffled me as a child. I believe the dream was filled with teaching for me and it really  means something to me that I still remember it so vividly more than three decades later.

I think the daisy is all of the times when I put so much effort forth for something that I was not supposed to be doing. I think effort is the killer of inspiration. I am not talking about hard work or not doing things. I just mean that place we all get to when we are trying so hard to force something and it just isn't working. Sometimes our personal desire overrides a higher wisdom. We need to pause when something that looks like it should be so easy is not easy at all. Take a deep breath. Take a walk. Take a vacation. Get away from the thing and get some perspective. The daisy might not want to be picked or may not be ready to be picked. Or maybe it isn't 'your' daisy. The very same daisy may be effortlessly picked by another.

Then there is that big old rock that lifts like a feather.......same idea here for me....I think that we are meant to do certain things in this lifetime. Anointed for a certain something that is ours and ours alone (alone=with God) to do. It may be hard, it may be BIG, but it is ours and when we align ourselves with this greater plan then no matter how big or hard the task it will flow easily. It may be hard work, we may have to get up early and stay up late but it will feel effortless. We will be amazed that we can do this thing. We will wonder where we got the strength. It might surprise or shock others and yet because we took the time to try the impossible we will be led from one thing to the next. I believe this is what God was trying to tell me with this dream.

And what about my family and friends who couldn't recognize me......that one is tough. I can still feel the fear in that moment. The aloneness. The confusion. What I think it means is that those closest to me may not always understand or 'see' me but I must stay with what I know to be true for me and my life. It is also true that I may not understand or 'see' them. The vacant and empty look may have been more about them following the path that they needed to. I realize now that it doesn't really mean I am alone or abandoned. It is more symbolic than anything. I think it means I have to follow the rhythm of my own life and so does everyone that I love. Sometimes this may make us feel invisble towards each other.
We may feel alone but we are never, truly alone.
That is just a lie we tell ourselves.

 If God had spoken in words instead of images it may have sounded something like this:
"My Dearest and Beloved Kimberly,
I have great plans for you. They are yours and yours alone. Don't go for what appears to be easy. Go for the impossible and I will make it possible. Go to the mountain. Believe in yourself. Believe in me. I will move that mountain. You may have to bring a shovel. It may take alot of work but it won't feel like work. It will be easy and you will be in ME and I will be in YOU. Those closest to you may not see you or understand you. Learn to be ok with that. Just love them and let them love you. We all see what we choose to see. Please be the Kimberly that I made you to be and know that I see you. Do not try to convince others of your worth or of your dreams. Believe you have something to offer and offer it. I will be right here. ALWAYS and ALL WAYS."

I have only shared this dream with a handful of people over the years. I always knew it mattered. I always knew there was important information for me to learn and apply to my life. It is only in the decision to share it with a bigger audience that I am really seeing it for what it was. It is in the writing of it that I have gotten more clarity and that is why I return again and again to this blog.  You remind me that I am not alone. You help me make sense of life....and  to share my stories and to know that somewhere it impacts even just one other person is a great joy for me.
Now...go out and do that thing that ONLY you can do.


Farmgirl Paints said...

I read your dream and then what you thought it meant and I believe you are right on. Dreams are amazing things. I have some that I know mean something significant that the Lord is trying to reveal to me and then there are others that are obviously so weird and random. Yours was definitely one that meant something.

Oh and about blogging. It is kind of a scary place. You are putting yourself out there and it feels like an approval rating sometimes. Will I get a comment? Do I measure up with all these amazing people? You just focus on who you are and how God made you. We all have something unique and special to bring to the table. Be true to yourself and have fun. Try not to compare.

Kelly said...

Wow! What a great dream and a great message.

Beki - TheRustedChain said...

What a message!

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